When our son was a baby all I wanted him to do was talk. Now that he can talk I often times wish he would just be quiet. I know that children are a blessing but dang son – do you have to keep talking about farts? I must admit though there are times when having a kid that can form complete sentences is great. We are able to have conversations and share opinions on random things and it is a joy to see his personality develop. Every so often he says some amazing things. Sometimes he says things that shock the heck out of everyone around us. And then there are times that he makes me say things that I immediately have to translate for non-Pinkelton folk. Here is a brief but true list of just a few of those things…
- Walking into a liquor store with the four year old he announces, ” They have my favorite drink here!” Every fucking body turned around and stared. He is talking about pink grapefruit juice by the way.
- While in the produce department the boy yells, “I want artichokes/asparagus/pomegranates for dinner!” You’d think folks would appreciate his adventurous pallet. Nope, they all turn around and stare at us both.
- “Can we go to Circle and Dot? Short grandma took me to Circle and Dot and we got lots of toys!” Short grandma = mother in law who is 5’2″ tall. Circle and Dot = Target. (We are trademarking that kickass nickname so don’t even try to snag it Target.)
- We celebrated his fifth birthday at Catch Air where they showed a slide show of photos of the birthday boy while playing his favorite song. I hand the party planner my thumb drive of pics and she asks, “What’s your son’s favorite song?” My response, “‘American Woman’ by Lenny Kravitz.” From the look on her face you’d think I’d asked her to play Body Count’s “KKK Bitch!” Come on people. Not every kid listens to “The Wheels on the Bus” on repeat all day long.
- While walking in the park he says, “Do you know why children aren’t in jail?” I was dying to hear the answer to this one. “No, I don’t son,” I replied. “Because they are so small they would just climb out between the bars. Grown ups are big so they can’t do that. But a kid- they would just slip out and roll away.” Not because kids don’t do crimes that warrant being punished in such a way. It’s only the width of the rails that keeps the little criminals out of the slammer.
- After his first day of Pre-K I asked, “How was your day?” His response, “I didn’t fart or burp on nobody.” Well damn kid, I guess that’s all one can ask for. I am rarely able to say the same at the end of the day so hats off to you.
Stay tuned folks. He is a chatty little dude with an ever expanding vocabulary and I’m sure more gems are soon to come.