Aaron in 2011. Aaron in 2014
That the kid continues to age while me and his father get younger and younger everyday? Just lucky I guess. Oh well.
How Is It Possible…
Tag: Parenting
The Morning Woods – Awkward Times With a Young Son
I walk into our son’s room at 6:30 in the morning, turn on the light and wake him up.
Me: Let’s go to the potty.
Him: Nooooooooo!
Me: Come on dude. You gotta pee.
Him: Nooooooo!
I remove his pajama bottoms and lead him into the bathroom. The pull-up appears to contain no pee at first glance. I peak inside and sure enough it is dry. But his tiny three and a half year old johnson is rock hard.
Him: Nooo stop it.
Me: Your pull up is dry. You need to pee.
Him: I don’t want to pee it hurts.
Me: That’s because your p*nis is hard. Just pee (I recently learned that is tantamount to someone asking me to do physics. It ain’t gonna happen)
Him: OWWWWWWWWWWW!
Me: Just chill and let it go man.
Him: Nooooo!
He makes a horribly pained face, whimpers one more time and finally pees.
Him: Why it do that? Why my p*nis do that? Why is it hard?
Me: Because blood goes into it.
Him: Why?
Did I mention the time. Yup, I told you it was 6 friggin 30 in the morning. How am I asked to break down the behavior of human reproductive parts to a three and a half year old before I have had my coffee???
Me: It just does. Flush the toilet and wash your hands.
Him: Do my hands to that? Do my legs do that?
Me: Nope just your p*nis.
Him: Why?
Me: Dude, ask your dad. He is an expert on this.
Dad is on a trip and will not be back until the following morning.
Now the kid is standing at the sink repeatedly tapping his p*nis with his finger and laughing.
Him: It’s funny.
Me: Yeah, a laugh riot.
I don’t know if I am supposed to be more supportive in situations like these. Surely some folks will say that I used a negative tone and could have been nicer. I could have been more caring and understanding.
Those folks can suck it.
Monday Morning Gets a Bad Wrap; But Sunday Night Can Be A B*TCH Too!
Last night at 9:30pm my stomach decided to do flips and twists in the middle of The Talking Dead summer special. Was it the wonderful dinner I had cooked? Would the hubs and the kid get sick too? Would I puke on the den carpet because I was too engrossed in the TV show to get to the toilet in time? I willed the queasiness away.
Last night at 11:45pm the boy cried out. Had he puked? Many prayers were said as I walked down the hall towards his room. No puke; but the bug bites (he is so allergic to bug bites) that he collected over the weekend were giving him a fit. Calamine lotion, soothing voice, glass of water and then I leave the room.
This morning at 12:45am the wee lad cries out again. I pray for no vomit. Nope, he is still itchy and thirsty and now hot. I go into the hall to turn up the air conditioning and only get an odd noise. SERIOUSLY? I open his door to let in the cooler air coming up from downstairs that has made the master bedroom comfortable. I lay down beside him and fall asleep until…
1:15am the kid is tossing and turning making himself too hot to cool off. Still itchy and thirsty I give him water, a dose of Benadryl, and some soothing words. I wish someone would give me some soothing words because we all know the panic spiral your brain goes down at 1:15am on a school night!!! I had a presentation at 8:00am. Would I wake up with my alarm? Is my alarm set? Would the kid ever go to sleep?
This morning at 3:15am I was still awake but the boy was asleep. I decide to creep back into bed with the hubs. My mind shifted from typical late night panic attack topics, to a constant string of prayers that the boy would not wake up again.
This morning at 5:45am the alarm goes off. Somehow I make it out the door with a jovial kid, two blueberry muffins and a huge cup of coffee. I am also dressed appropriately to make a presentation in front of college students.
On this day, Sunday night and Monday morning tag teamed me trying to show their muscles. Whatever fools – I’ve got this. I have no idea what I said during my presentation; but I received very positive feedback on it so it’s all good!!
Bring it on Tuesday!
Just kidding – please be nice to me.
Boys Are Gonna Do
Aaron’s boots as photographed by Ryan Johnson.
We kept ourselves in the dark when it came to the gender of our baby. Our ears were wide open in anticipation of the announcement during delivery – IT”S A BOY!
This weekend I got hit with some words of wisdom from this very boy while wandering the aisles of Target; or as we Pinkeltons call it Circle and Dot. We were discussing his best friend Josh and why they fight yet continue to be friends. Why they put each other into painful, rug burn resulting headlocks; but continue to be friends. His three and one half year old response to me was, “Mommy, boys are gonna do what boys are gonna do.”
I was there and I still can’t believe that he said these words. How can you respond to a statement like this? I was speechless.I grew up a girl, so I am unable to understand his behavior. This is the type of knowledge only experience can bring. It is possible that I already have all of the information I need to know.
IT’S A BOY! And boys are gonna do what boys are gonna do.
Maria Pinkelton 