Category: Life

Five Ways to Get Away from Your Little Kid and Get Some Me Time aka Waste Time on Pinterest 

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You are looking at one of my happy places.

You are looking at one of my happy places.

Oftentimes you need a little non-kid time even when you have kids. This does not always come at a convenient hour (after the kid has gone to sleep), so here are a few ways to grab a couple of minutes in your happy place. Mine happens to be the wonderful world of Pinterest. Yours may be Candy Crush, knitting, binge watching something on Netflix. Whatever it is, these tricks are guaranteed to get you a few minutes in your magical zone where no one is asking you to wipe their butt.

1. Let them play in the dirt. Dirt is awesome because it hold surprises like grass, leaves, bugs, rocks. Add toy, cars, shovels, buckets and other “good in the dirt” toys. Add some water to the equation and those suckers are making mud pies and stomping in puddles. Estimated Pinning Time: 20-30 minutes

2. Feed them. A nice plate full of several different new food choices (baby bento box). Persimmons, mangoes, yogurt covered raisins, purple carrots, whole grain crackers. An array of new visually appealing things on the plate will grab their attention. Tell them they will get a donut or ice cream if they eat it all and you have added at least three more minutes onto your Pinning time.MOTHER OF THE YEAR! Pinning time: 15 minutes

3.  Take them to the playground. Those other parents who are on their phones know what they are doing!  Seriously, I float somewhere between helicopter mom and DFACS being called. It is a happy medium I think. Make sure he doesn’t try to jump off of the TOP of the swing -Pin a pair of boots. Remind him not to eat woodchips – Pin some Ikea bedding. Tell him not to climb UP the slide – Pin fall decorating ideas. We all win at the playground! Pinning time: 15-30 minutes but this may vary if there are no other kids there, you need to push them on the swing, or those moments when they say, “Ma! Look at me!”

4. Put them in the tub- I don’t know about your kid but mine would stay in the tub playing all day if he could. He does a lot of imagination play, talking to his toy dinosaurs and drawing and writing with tub crayons while I hangout and relax. (This only works for those kids who are past tub-drowning age and you do need to be just outside the door and look in on them periodically) Pinning time: 20-25 minutes

5. Sit them on the toilet with:

  • An Oriental Trading Company/Toys R Us catalog
  • A Look and Find book
  • An iPAD/smart phone. I’m sure I will hear people gripe, “Screen time, blah blah blah.” I respect your choice and your child rearing regime. But I get a little bit of Maria time, am able to talk uninterrupted to my husband, wash the dishes or take a crap myself with this trick.
    Just think about how much time you have wasted doing a tinker-stinker or looking at that JCrew catalog on the can. Put a small stool under their feet so their legs don’t fall asleep (like mine do) and enjoy your Pinterest time. Pinning time: 15-20 minutes

Happy pinning! Or pedicuring! Or Dove chocolate eating……

12 Things That Happen to the Only Black Girl in the Room

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As you can see by the name of this blog; this is well covered territory for me. I have been in this role a while. Here is a photo of me about the time this situation became typical – the rocking’ acid washed 80s.

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Me with two of my besties from high school.

Sadly I am not wearing my INXS shirt in this picture. Their Kick tour rocked and it was at that concert that I noticed, “I am the only brownie in here! Wow!” And that show was at the Atlanta Omni and that place was huge! And sold out. That is a whole lot of salt with only one grain of pepper y’all.
For your laughs,giggles, and reference here are twelve things that happen to the only black girl in the room….
  1. You probably don’t want to sing while playing Rock Band and people act surprised when you go for the bass or the drums. Not all of us sing like Jennifer Hudson.
  2. People will ask your opinon on any current event that is racially charged. At that moment and in that place you are the voice of all black people
  3. People ask if you drink Malt Liquor when they see you enjoying craft beer, fine wine, small batch spirits, or anything that isn’t sold in a 40oz bottle
  4. You’ve been set up with the black friend of one of your white friends based on skin color alone. ” I thought you guys would hit it off. You have so much in common!”
  5. You think Fitz and Jake are both hot and find Olivia Pope’s romantic situation completely plausible. Well maybe not the presidential part, but you know what I mean.
  6. When white people say, ” My best friend is black” you know that it is possible they are not referring to their garbage man given the fact that your closest friends are white.
  7. When you meet another “only black girl in the room” you bond over your shared love of the Pacific Northwest and craft beer.
  8. You’ve had a white colleague look at you and say, “Wow! I didn’t know we had so much diversity in our company” when you are the lone person of color employed with the company.
  9. After a beach vacation you’ve been told, “I didn’t know black people could tan. You are really dark!”
  10. You have stood in silence for a undetermined amount of time after hearing the prior statement.
  11. You have Muse, Foo Fighters, Naked and Famous, Arcade Fire, Matt & Kim, Manchester Orchestra, Neko Case or Florence and the Machine on your workout or road trip playlists.
  12. Lastly…You understood comedian Ron Funches when he said “I’m too white for the blacks and too black for the whites.”

Welcome to my world…

I’d Like to Eat – Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken

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This beautiful picture of caloric carnage is from Flickr

This beautiful picture of Gus’s caloric carnage is from Flickr

Words cannot express how bad my health will be when this restaurant opens its Atlanta location. Now don’t rush to think I will hold them accountable for my ever growing waistline. It is up to me to be strong enough to stay away from their doors and just say no, but look at that plate. There is a reason that Gus’s friend chicken is world famous. I’m sure your mother’s and grandmother’s fried chicken is great. Really tasty even. But I am confident when I think even they will say this chicken kicks ass.

My first visit to Gus’s was their original location in Memphis, Tennessee. I stood online for roughly and hour and it was definitely worth it. The interior was nothing to write home about but I was not there for the ambiance. I was there to eat. And eating was what I did. It is my belief that God himself made those chickens to create a rare heaven on Earth experience.

Two years after trying Gus’s, my husband and I went to a book signing and speaking engagement by uber-foodie host Adam Richman. My husband wore his Gus’s t-shirt and the reaction by Richman when we approached him to have our book signed was hilarious! “Oh my GOD I love Gus’s. Are you from Memphis? “, Richmond asked with the biggest smile on his face. My husband responded, “No, but I used to live there”, to which Richmond quickly responded, “The secret is to bring your own honey. They have hot sauce but not honey to put on your chicken. You gotta do that the next time you go.” Note made and stored. It may sound tacky and ratchet, but when people offer you tips on how to make that perfect food even more perfect you don’t ask questions. You remember it for next time.

Eating Gus’s gives you the type of gluttonous satisfaction that should only happen once or twice a year depending on your current cholesterol and blood pressure numbers. The fact that the nearest Gus’s is hundreds of miles away has worked in my favor. I yearn for it from time to time but it is not realistically obtainable so I consume other (less gloriously grease covered) foods. Their expansion plans that include Peachtree Center in downtown Atlanta makes the trip needed to take to eat that fine food considerably shorter. I have yet to find an actual opening date, but on their website they have Atlanta and eight other cities listed as future locations. All I know is that it is coming.

Pray for me people.

Also pray for anyone standing in front of me on opening day.

Photo of Haystack Rock by Movement Six at Flickr

What I Learned This Week

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Photo of Haystack Rock by Movement Six at Flickr

  • Sometimes all you need is ten hours of sleep.
  • If you can teach your kid the joy of using the iPad while taking a poop, you yourself can spend             some quality time taking a poop while on your iPad.
  • My child’s feet are apparently growing at a quick and constant rate.
  • You can sear a Yellowfin tuna fillet easily and make this meal in less than five minutes.
  • When I was a kid all I wanted to do was draw pictures and write stories. Now as an adult I draw pictures and write stories for a living.
  • It is perfectly fine to be excited about spending several days away from your child with your husband in this city .
  • Some days you have to agree with your co-worker when he says, “There is not enough whiskey for this day.”
  • Money can not buy happiness, but it did buy these boots which are making me really happy.

Did any pearls of wisdom come your way this week?