Photo courtesy of Classy Sassy and Trendy Inc

New year! New you? Hell no!

Photo courtesy of Classy Sassy and Trendy Inc

Little tub of magic. Photo courtesy of Classy Sassy and Trendy Inc.

I recently went into a store that shall not be named.  Let’s just say they have a large selection of makeup and they have a lot of spray ladies ready to spritz you. They are also filled with pots and bottles of magic serums meant to transform you into a younger, brighter, better you – or so we have been told. The powers that be give us the full court press of those pastes and potions during the month of January. Out of the woodwork they spring as soon as you are within earshot.  It’s a new year, isn’t it time for a new you? Don’t you want this year to be the year you feel amazing? Your skin is not firm enough, your pores are not small enough and your eyes…. well crows feet aren’t pretty on real life crows. You surely don’t want them around your eyes. It is a sales pitch, wrapped in tissue thin constructive criticism with a chocolate coated insult filled center. We stop, and we listen and we eat it up. Why do they push these products on us you might ask? Well if we weren’t buying it they certainly wouldn’t be selling it.


I used to listen to their well practiced voices and think them so wise. “They must know what they are talking about,” I would say to myself, “They’re wearing lab coats.” I bought several tubes of this and bottles of that. Until one day the pitches no longer had the same effect on me. Was it my clock striking 40 years or was it the fact that I no longer had endless hours to devote to vanity? I may never know the reason but it has stopped. Aside from a bout of midlife acne I look great. And not “great for my age”, just great.  My cellulite looks wonderful (it occurs naturally you know?) My buns nor abs are made of steel, but my back is straight and I am able to proudly stand tall. The funny thing is these things are never discussed when I am with the true authorities in lab coats, my doctors. My gyno has never once discussed the importance of having my boobs be perky through surgery, only the importance of having them be healthy through monthly breast exams. My internist has never talked up liposuction for sexy abs, only calcium and vitamin D for strong bones.  And neither of them has commented on the number of lines on my forehead, but we have discussed my cholesterol numbers and how many glasses of water I drink in a day.


So do I need a new me? No thanks. This one is doing great with it’s saddle bags and weird under arm wing flappy things (what the hell are those called anyhow?) My family is happy, my friends are wonderful, and my soul is bright so this me… is kicking ass. Do you have a bottle back there with Maria in it? You should because this is what folks aspire to. This is the awesome sauce.  This is what new year’s resolutions are based on. This is body confidence and self love and it’s not based on the calendar but on your state of mind. Did I mention the best part? It’s free!!!!

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