Photo of underwear on a line courtesy of Flickr

In with the New and Out with the Old (Dirty Underwear)

Photo of underwear on a line courtesy of Flickr


We are nearing the end of the first month of 2015. Hopefully you did not set some crazy goal like going to the gym everyday. Both you and I know that this never work out well. The shiny new glow of the new year is so pretty and we often think we need to make a big change in our life.

If you are in the middle of this dilemma and are falling off of your impossible fitness and no-junkfood goals, let’s discuss something that you can do instead. RENEW in 2015! “Renew what?”, you ask. EVERYTHING. There are things in our world that need refreshing and what better time to do it than when the calendar flips to a new year. Below I have listed just a few things that I renew on an annual basis. You can do some of them, all of them, or you can tell me I am just weak for not being able to live without processed foods for 30 days.

1. Buy new underwear – No matter how often you do laundry, after a while you need to update your selection. After a year of walking, running, sitting and farting in those Fruit of the Looms you are going to need to retire a few pairs. Ladies, this goes for bras too. Those over the shoulder boulder holders don’t last forever!

2. Purge your kitchen – Why was there a tube of basil paste in the door of my refrigerator that was a year past it’s expiration date? And let’s not talk about those leftovers in the Tupperware container that were obviously blue. The only thing I eat that is blue is berries and those definitely was not berries in that container. I didn’t even open the thing up for fear I would die from the toxic fumes. You need to be willing to sacrifice some storage containers and put in some elbow grease cleaning off caked on spills, but it is worth it.

3. Buy a new toothbrush – If your current toothbrush looks like it is standing in a wind tunnel with it’s hair blowing back GET RID OF IT. You paid $5.00 tops for that thing. It is not meant to last for ever and after a while you are simply scrubbing your teeth with really old bacteria. Talk about yuck mouth.

4. Replace your razors – If you are a disposable razor user you know that after a while they lose their effectiveness. This means more nicks, cuts and time shaving! Take this time to ditch any of the ones you see in your bathroom. If you’ve had them propped along the tubs edge chances are they may be gathering a little rust.

5. Buy new socks/stockings – Just like number one you cannot expect to put these kinds of things through such a rigorous workout without some failures. When there is more that one hole in your sock it is time to replace the pair.

6. Clean out your wallet – You do know that Linen’s and Things went out of business a while ago? You can probably throw that receipt out now. With all of those little secret compartments our wallets can become a black hole for valet parking tickets, frequent shopper cards and receipts. Go through yours and see how much of a time capsule it really is.

7. Restock the bathroom – How many mornings have you reached for Q-tips, deodorant, or shampoo only to discover that you are without? Take a trip to Big Lots or your local cheap-o mart and stock up for the new year. And if you are really daring, try to do regular toilet paper re-stocks in your bathroom cabinets through out the year. Nothing spoils a relaxing tinker stinker like realizing you are out of toilet paper.

I am sure there are many other things in your life that could use a reboot and I am not claiming that this list covers everything. Your car probably needs waxing and your garage may be in a shambles, but it is much easier to begin with the toothbrush. And lord knows your significant other will thank you.